Sorry


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I’m sorry for not making time.

I’m sorry if I always say that I’m busy.

I’m sorry if I didn’t make you guys my priority.

I’m sorry because I’m not available when you need me.

I’m sorry for taking you guys for granted.

That was my mistake.

We only appreciate the things that really mattered when they’re gone.

We want to fight for it. We want to make sure that it won’t happen again. I guess on my case, it’s still happening and I don’t think that it will stop. Maybe it will but not now.

You want to correct every mistake and failures but all you can see are a jar full of disappointments. We all know that we can’t make people happy all the time. We can’t please everybody. Everything is the same. Everything has it’s special moments… and if you’ve missed out one of them… it will leave you speechless. It will be a big blank page, like you have to start all over again.

It sucks to let it go. It doesn’t matter if it’s a past mistake. No wonder why people have to leave… and it’s because I didn’t or I’m not giving them my full attention… and I’m really sorry.

I miss everything. I miss my friends. I miss my family.

Most importantly…

I miss myself.

I don’t know how to draw anymore. I don’t know how to play the guitar anymore. I don’t know how to have a healthy social life anymore.

I don’t know how to keep my friends with me anymore. I don’t know how to keep my heart from being hurt anymore. I don’t know how to use my heart less and let my brain take care of anything anymore.

I think I’m falling apart.

Is this depression? Do I need special attention? Do I need a stranger to talk to with my problems and pay them afterwards just because they provided these psychobabble ideas inside my head? Or am I just not taking care of myself anymore?

Over thinking can be a big deal. Yeah, I’m an over thinker. So yeah, I’m a paranoid freak who wants to cry all the time because I’m also too sensitive to handle things that would literally freak me out.

Sorry for not being perfect. It’s just the way I am. Nobody is.

But it doesn’t mean that I don’t care. It doesn’t mean that I’m not there for you.

I will always be with you guys. No matter what.

I’m just not showing it the way you are expecting it to be, but I’m sure that I care and that won’t change.

This effort is not enough and I’m trying the best that I can so that I will be able to make it up to you.

Thanks for being there.

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