sigh…


some things are worth waiting for…

and some things are worth fighting for.

but if you’re not willing to do these two things, think twice, thrice and many times.

there are so many regrets that we want to prevent but this will determine our patience and the skill to just…

love.

I Never told You


I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep
Like there’s no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now I miss everything about you
I can’t believe it, I still want you
After all the things we’ve been through
I miss everything about you
Without you, whoa…

I see your blue eyes
Every time I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to
When I’m not around you
It’s like I’m not with me

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now I miss everything about you (still you’re gone)
I can’t believe it, I still want you (And I’m lovin’ you, I never should have walked away)
After all the things we’ve been through (I know it’s never gonna come again)
I miss everything about you
Without you, whoa…

But I never told you
What I should have said
No I never told you
I just held it in

And now I miss everything about you (still you’re gone)
Can’t believe it, I still want you (And I’m lovin’ you, I never should have walked away)
After all the things we’ve been through (I know it’s never gonna come again)
I miss everything about you
Without you, whoa, no, no…

The One that got Away


Summer after high school when we first met
We’d make out in your Mustang to Radiohead
And on my 18th Birthday
We got matching tattoos

Used to steal your parents’ liquor
And climb to the roof
Talk about our future
Like we had a clue
Never planned that one day
I’d be losing you

In another life
I would be your girl
We’d keep all our promises
Be us against the world

In another life
I would make you stay
So I don’t have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away

I was June and you were my Johnny Cash
Never one without the other, we made a pact
Sometimes when I miss you
I put those records on (Whoa)

Someone said you had your tattoo removed
Saw you downtown singing the Blues
It’s time to face the music
I’m no longer your muse

But in another life
I would be your girl
We’d keep all our promises
Be us against the world

In another life
I would make you stay
So I don’t have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
The o-o-o-o-o-one [x3]
The one that got away

[Bridge:]
All this money can’t buy me a time machine (Nooooo)
Can’t replace you with a million rings (Nooooo)
I should’ve told you what you meant to me (Whoa)
‘Cause now I pay the price

In another life
I would be your girl
We’d keep all our promises
Be us against the world

In another life
I would make you stay
So I don’t have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
The o-o-o-o-o-one [x3]

In another life
I would make you stay
So I don’t have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away

what i really wished for


october 21, 2013… this is the day that everything is over between us. i’m not going to blog this event out, but there’s something that i wished for that i just wanted to share.. on that day.

that’s the last time that we talked. the last time that i saw his face. and to be honest… i missed him. i miss him.

i tossed a coin on to one of the finest fountains on mall of asia. then i made a wish.

i thought to myself that, maybe, somehow, or someday… if we really were meant for each other, we will cross our paths once again. we’ll be able to forget on what happened on that day, when we’re still kids and can be together in the future.

he actually asked what i really wished for but i didn’t tell him. oh well, blogging it out right now might gave him the idea and maybe he’ll read this. i don’t know. well anyway, i’ve already hurt him. and now it’s over.

at present, we still have communication. and i don’t want to answer his questions or any of his doubts. i wanna leave it this way. i don’t wanna comment on this kind of situation.

he was never a bother, but i just don’t like him to know what i have in mind. i want to let him be. be on his way and live the life that he wanted it to be. and it’s without me.

right now i want to focus on my priorities, and i want him to think on his own too. maybe and yes… i know that the biggest regret that i have is that i have broken up with him and for the purpose of giving him the life that he deserve. the life that he didn’t have without me. the life that he can manage to do on his own. i admire his love and generosity of letting me go. i know it’s not easy for me to give him up but on the back of my mind… i have to. it’s for his own good and not mine. i’m still hurt that i don’t have him in my life anymore, and for those 3 years, 8 months and 3 days, i didn’t regret it. i really love him from the bottom of my heart and my heart will always love him. there will be some changes because we have to adjust.

we need to know that our relationship didn’t exist anymore, but that’s why i wished that maybe, somehow, or someday…

 

if God intends to let our roads diverged into one, then so be it.. if not, that’s alright too. there are things that you have to let go and some things that you have to give up. and those things are the ones where you can learn your lessons from.

past will never be a regret.

doing something that you should have done but you didn’t is.

this part of the deal is really challenging and somewhat can give you the idea that even the greatest love story will end, but if it’s really that great it will find a way to continue the story.

 

love is not complicated. the people in that situation are.

This has been the biggest regret of my life until now. But if ever that he’s now happy without me, that’s perfectly fine. I’ll respect it.

my real wish is to be with him for the rest of my life if we’re really meant for each other. We’re still young… Time will tell. We’ll just have to wait and see for us to find out.

- this post is originally published on the 6th of November 2013

my mind right now


be strong bronte.

everything happens for a reason.

everything that you do, everything that everyone do, happens for a reason. it will fit to the right spot. it will be on the right page.

i may not be the strongest girl in the world but i want to be the strongest girl on this situation.

i’m tired of being stepped on.

i’m tired of being taken for granted.

i’m tired of being weak. i’m tired of everything. i wanted to rest.

i wanted to take a break. i wanted to let them know that they can’t take away the dignity and pride that’s supposed to be there in the first place.

i wanted them to know my value.

i don’t want anyone or any other people make me feel that i’m not good enough. i have feelings that can suppress anything… that can conquer the weak points in my heart. i know i can do it, i’m just not applying it.

sometimes i wonder why did i sacrificed my pride? why am i sacrificing everything? why am i not giving myself time to think to love myself more?

some people won’t know the value of something until it’s gone. they won’t know the things that will make them happy because it’s their choice if they’re going to make their lives miserable. or otherwise, depends on them, on how they’ll make their day happy.

happiness is a choice. now, i completely understand it. i didn’t realize it before. and it’s good to know that i can do better things with my new life. i don’t know what’s ahead of me. i don’t know what’s out there…

i won’t let anyone, again, think that i’m not their kind of girl… who’ll just be afraid of being alone… who’ll just be somebody’s doormat. i hope i can be bronte again. the kind of bronte who’ll be brave enough to step outside her comfort zone and have courage to face the truth.

i’m so curious that my head will blew off and i would never risk my happiness just because of the questions that’s been running on my head. i hope this too, shall pass. i don’t want this to be a burden in my life. but once a curious person starts asking questions, expect them to have some follow-up questions based on your answers.

am i going to ask? am i this paranoid to ask who that person is? am i this curious person who wants to have a peaceful life, just by ignoring this truth that i wanted to know?

weird encounter.

my real DAISY


I have this favorite manga that i’m subscribed with. it’ s not like i’m paying for it or anything but i’ve been reading it online and sadly it’s not finished yet… and it’s been kindda announced that Motomi Kyousuke will end the story on October. sad as it seems, that’s how life works. anyway, let’s just cut to the chase.

Dengeki Daisy is the title of the manga. it’s mainly a love story but not too focused on that genre. it’s also a mystery, action and it does have this kind of humor where you can really laugh at the character’s attitudes. frankly, they’re quite funny.

Daisy a.k.a Tasuku Kurosaki, as a hacker, have created a program which ruined everything and have made Kurebayashi Souichiro to decipher that code. Souichiro needs to make it in time so that Kurosaki will be out of jail. at that time, Souichiro is sick and unable to go to the hospital because he sacrificed everything just to decipher what Kurosaki created. before Souichiro died, he told his sister, Kurebayashi Teru, that a certain someone will be taking care of her. and that’s Daisy.

Teru don’t know who Daisy is. but they continuously exchanging messages through their mobile phones. Daisy knows what’s happening to Teru, and he fell in love with her.  Daisy have been trying to make Teru happy by giving any good comforts as possible over the phone. he makes her happy and made her believe that he’s always there for her who’ll never leave her side. Teru considers Daisy as her life comforter and when the time came that Teru found out that Kurosaki is actually Daisy… her love for him became stronger than before…

then just picture out the love story…

then now, my real Daisy… is actually my mother.

all my life, i’ve known her for … about 22 years now. since i was born, she is my guardian angel and the only one who’ll never leave my side… no matter what. and the funny thing is, they said, when i was a baby…i was too clingy. no matter where my mom was… i’m there… clinging on her leg… that’s hilarious.

she’s a cool mom. a full time mom. she works. she’ll talk with us, then sometimes cooks for us. always reading books. writing travel blogs. and will even kiss you if you’re going out. she’ll be mad at you if you’re not going to follow her orders. she wants the house spic and span. she wants to just write, write, write and write some more.

she’s my idol when it comes to reading. she have read books that’s difficult to understand on her high school days and she even won contests about essay writings. she’s the best. and that’s also the reason why my name is Bronte… came from a movie(can’t remember the title) and also a book called, Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte.

i really much appreciated the times when she would criticize the decisions that i’m always making. she’ll not make me feel irritated, but instead, the tone of her voice on how she put it on another way, it gives me a funny bone.

if she’s angry at me, all i can interpret on that is she really cares for me… i can’t and don’t want to hold a grudge on her. it’s not her fault on how i turned out to be like this. it’ the decisions that i always make which defines me. she’s a part of Bronte who grows up as a strong girl. she made me strong and i never regretted the days that she scolds me. that’s a part of being a family… letting you know how much they love you in every way they can. sometimes it’s not in a sweet way, but you’ll just feel it.

every time that mom and i will have a one on one talk… i always think that… “this is the moment”… because, you know, i never got the chance to have a serious conversation with her if i have my free time. i always hung out with friends and boyfriend… then friends again. or i always watch/read anime/manga. time is everything.

my mom wants to travel and sometimes even going to a good restaurant is one of her options to make her day right. she even invites me to go to a classy restaurant and i’m glad that i’m always the one who’s going with her. with no complaints whatsoever. and i also think that she picks the right restaurant to begin with.

she have managed to bring the four of us into this world with pure love. it never did occur to me that she can’t give us what we want in life. she gave us life. the life that i think we deserve and i think we deserve better. i want to surprise her and let her know that i’m 100% supportive on her plans in life. she just wants to succeed and be well-known for the thing that’s she’s really good at… writing.

so right now… i won’t give up. i want to strive harder. harder unlike before.

happy mom’s day.<3

mama

In a Relationship


1. LISTEN. you can’t do whatever you want to do. Listen to what he/she have to say before anything pops into your mind and make it the right and good idea, instead of waiting for your partners turn to bring out the better idea.

2. MAKE TIME WITH YOUR FRIENDS. your world doesn’t revolve on you two. you still have friends to have a good time with.

3. BE RESPONSIBLE WITH YOUR ACTIONS. if you’re going out for a drink, don’t expect that your partner will still support the thing that you can’t control. you did it so deal with it. it doesn’t mean that they don’t care, they’re concern about you, but look after yourself too.

4. DON’T FORGET TO SEND A TEXT MESSAGE WHEN YOU GET HOME, OR TRY TO EVEN CALL. your partner will get worried if you don’t. it’s a simple thing but it’s for you to remember that someone cares.

5. BE HONEST AND LOYAL TO YOUR PARTNER

6. LET DOWN YOUR PRIDE. nothing will happen if your pride steps in with your relationship. there will be less talking and less understanding.

7. APPRECIATE THE SMALL EFFORTS. it always has a great impact of all.

8. YOU DON’T NEED A THEME SONG. sometimes it’s good to listen to it if you’re with your partner because it’s somewhat gonna make it romantic. but if it’s not necessary to have one, that’s alright. it’s just an option.

9. THERE’S STILL ROOM FOR SOME CHANGES AND ADJUSTMENTS. even though you thought you know your partner well, think different, but at the same time, be yourself.

10. CREATE ENOUGH SPACE FOR YOU TWO TO BREATHE. especially if you have a misunderstanding although it will be more effective and reasonable afterwards if you’re going to explain the thing that made you angry in the first place. communicating effectively is always the key.

11. DON’T HAVE ANY REGRETS. accept the fact that you’ve done the actions without complaints.

12. BE HAPPY. every single moment counts. every hour, every minute, every second of everyday… and somehow, just try to manage to make it a year. or make it two… make it forever… as long as you love each other. it will be possible.

13. BE SERIOUS. SERIOUSLY. make sure that you’ll take note of the mistakes that you’ve done, so that you’ll be aware if it will happen again.

14. HAVE COMMUNICATION. it’s important to always talk to your partner and understand each other. don’t leave one another hanging. keep them posted.

15. ALWAYS GIVE THE PROPER ATTENTION… that you’re gonna give and the one that you need. don’t be too much. just be ENOUGH.

16. SPEAK YOUR MIND. your partner wants to know what you’re thinking about. don’t limit yourself on giving off ideas from your head. speak your mind, especially when it also comes from your heart.

17. DON’T BE JEALOUS. even if your partner is around people, who you don’t know especially if they’re girls/boys, because eventually, they’ll come back to you at the end of the day. they’re yours. and even though he’ll make some room for other people in his head and be concerned about them, you don’t have to worry… atleast, he’s also concerned about the people that you care about.

18. BE OPEN-MINDED. don’t limit partner from other people. be fair. they also need other people on their lives. not just you.

19. BE A GOOD EXAMPLE.  teach him/her some things that they have to think about, especially some long term goals and some of life’s principles.

20. DO NOT ASK UNNECESSARY QUESTIONS. if ever that you already knew what to do, don’t ask. just analyze the scenario carefully before doing something that might add to any unnecessary fights.

21. THINK BEFORE YOU REACT. sometimes you don’t need to think too much on why your partner did that… just try to see  what’s going to happen first, by then, you’ll understand in the first place on why she’d/he’d done it.

22. UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER’S SIDE. your partner don’t know what they’re supposed to do when you wanted them to do something for you, all the time. you need to understand that you and him/her may not be on the same page… especially if both of you are different. in short, opposite.

 

these are the things that i’ve just observed… and i should’ve put in some good stuffs but i don’t have a good memory to blog it all out… anyway…

i know that there are s many ideas that i can come up, with this kind of topic, but the rest is up to you on what you’re going to consider to have a good relationship with your partner.

 

all you need is LOVE. <3